I think everyone has thier little "Alter self", the part of them they can blame for something they don't believe they did, for most I think it comes out as "the crazy party person". Me and a couple others that have been troubled have the "Agressor" side that seems to take on a life of it's own.
Through years of unrest or trouble all the problems and rough spots that you don't let break you down need to go somewhere. The result is this pocket of anger, energy, and usually hate that grows over time. Doctors will hapily call this "repressed feelings". Really that is what they are, knowing me you don't want these things running loose, so be happy they are repressed. And over time they seem to take a personality of thier own and we tend to name them out of a joke, sometimes it goes past that and you really feel it is someone else.
My early years I was bullied at home and in school, I hated it, but couldn't change it, so I bottled it. Years went by and it got worse, so did the bottling, by now I think I have kegs not bottles. Over time I taught myself to fight, bare handed and weapons. I began to study the human body, the idea if you know how it works you can stop it, works for mechanics doesn't it?
Eventually I got the bullies and troublemakers to leave me alone for the most part, either I got away from them or they just began to fear me, either was fine. After a while I sat and looked back over things and realized what I had learned, what I had done, and what I had become, wich added even more things to repress.
Everyone thinks I 'm a nice person as I said before, and as I said that's what I let show. Then there is the part of me I've been bottling away, for the ease of referance I call him Azreal. I took up the name about 10 years ago now, an online name I got from a bible. A character I made into a role play character that was a good warrior and had a kind personality, untill he was set off. I never thought much how much we had simularitys untill later on.
Now with the meds playing Bi-polar tricks on me, Azreal has pretty much come into his own. I get stressed or upset and I know Az is waking up and he has simple dirrect means to avoid and get rid of problems. I know they are not good ways to do anything and despite how much they sound like good ideas I can't let him do that. Thus comes in a running debate between Me and Him.
The last year the bi-polar has become even more of an issue for me, I had to leave the state because I came close to doing serious physical harm to somone, I can't say for sure they would have lived through it. I'm back home in NY now, and the stress is back, and the same @$$hole is doing it again, despite knowing my stress levels they look at this as fun.
Most of the time my mood changes are quick, and I just feel a slump and need to be away from people while I sort my head out. Today when the person decided pushing my buttons was a good Idea it was much different. I was walking away from the verbal argument, my back to them as I headed for the other room when they shot a comment off at me. I don't clearly remember the comment or why it would bother me much but it did, and it bothered Az. I actually felt him wake up, a twisting pull in my stomach it felt like, and the sudden pull to spin and face them. I don't know why it happened, I didn't even realize it did at first but He registered a threat I had to face.
I spent the next 20 minutes talking him down an back to sleep so I could go on with what I needed to do. He wasn't close enough to the surface to make me have to leave people, but I wanted to, but I needed to go in the car with these people. A good bit of relaxing and letting him play over a few choice scenarios in my head of what could be done calmed him enough to go back to sleep.
Every time he wakes up I feel that much weaker to keeping him put away, but sometimes I use him for that energy. I love jobs that are physicaly demanding, a physical outlet for power and pending the job aggression. Lately I've been doing alot of landscaping, pick, axe, and shovel, been good at helping me burn out energy. These times I usually open my mind to issues that upset me just a bit, in small doses I can use them to give me small bits of energy to burn off. When I have a bad stress and no work to do I usually take one of my swords out and practice, physical exertion to the point of muscles giving out works well too, just takes longer without actual work.
For now he's resting, but he's in the back of my head all the time muttering his views, I just have to ignore him. He knows there might be a day I let him loose, it would take a severe case for that to happen, it's almost happened 2 times now. There are conditions to his release and he knows it, we discuss them every few days, the needs need to match the consequences.
For now though he's quite and I'm tired, so time to wrap this up
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Are you okay?
This seems to be something I've been asked lately, and quite frequently, and it's becoming a chore to answer properly.
To set the record straight, I have no idea. I haven't been able to safely and happily answer that question in over a year now. My mind was always a challenge to sort out even from me, it's decided to take down a few of its warning signs in the last year. People say I've become quiet at times, I didn't realize I talked all that much, mostly when I become quiet I'm thinking or just noticing there's a huge hole of space off to the side that deserves admiring. Most likely I'm quiet because I've had a shift in my mind that's caused me to consider where the hell it came from and what do I do with it now that it's here. More than a few have suggested I get counciling for this and I'm starting to wonder if it's the best course after all. There have been enough ups and downs in my life lately my mind has gone places it hasn't before, or if it has I've pushed it away from. I've been a very "nice" person for years to people it's gained me friends, it's not how I really am though. There's a side of me I keep away from people just for the fact I know it's not an "Acceptable" type. Lately people are telling me I should go with that a bit more, wich is leading me to a new motto in life, "Get over it or Go away" that seems to be working in a few instances I'm letting it out to try.
So if I get quiet, seem a bit distant, and in general just start to worry you with how I act, don't ask if I'm okay, trust I'll get myself close enough soon again or I'll find a way to do it.
To set the record straight, I have no idea. I haven't been able to safely and happily answer that question in over a year now. My mind was always a challenge to sort out even from me, it's decided to take down a few of its warning signs in the last year. People say I've become quiet at times, I didn't realize I talked all that much, mostly when I become quiet I'm thinking or just noticing there's a huge hole of space off to the side that deserves admiring. Most likely I'm quiet because I've had a shift in my mind that's caused me to consider where the hell it came from and what do I do with it now that it's here. More than a few have suggested I get counciling for this and I'm starting to wonder if it's the best course after all. There have been enough ups and downs in my life lately my mind has gone places it hasn't before, or if it has I've pushed it away from. I've been a very "nice" person for years to people it's gained me friends, it's not how I really am though. There's a side of me I keep away from people just for the fact I know it's not an "Acceptable" type. Lately people are telling me I should go with that a bit more, wich is leading me to a new motto in life, "Get over it or Go away" that seems to be working in a few instances I'm letting it out to try.
So if I get quiet, seem a bit distant, and in general just start to worry you with how I act, don't ask if I'm okay, trust I'll get myself close enough soon again or I'll find a way to do it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Good Stories
Good stories are not easy to write. I’ve been writing my own little stories and they have all be shorts, with maybe 3 longer ones in the works. This has lead me to sit and look over what I have written and what others have written and pick them apart. Modern thrillers and romance books are the easiest to write, while they can be complex in their details of the lives what people don’t look at is that they have a simple basic funding. They are modern, meaning all points of reference and the daily bits of life we can all associate with because they are what we know. To make a true challenge you need to look to fantasy writing, while anyone can write about dragons and such, the details are different.
Kim Harrison and Carrie Vaughn both write modern novels, with fantasy twists, while Vaughn’s “Kitty Norville” series keep things very modern, Harrison’s “The Hallows” change things. History was changed in her books, and while leaving the monetary issues the same she’s left the exact date, and certain brand names off items to make you wonder if it’s this time or a future time. On the other end of the spectrum is James Silke and Frank Frazetta’s novels of “The Death Dealer”, with it’s ancient earth locations. You can read the book and figure where the people would later migrate to and start civilizations we know. But it draws on enough fantasy and mysticism that old stories were made of to keep it a true fantasy world. Then you come to writers such as John Norman, there may be humans in his story but he took the time to make a new world, complete with society, social structure, religion and the details of plants and animals. That is where good stories and great stories begin to differ.
Lets begin by taking this apart at the basic level, a story needs characters, do you want humans or an alien race as your focus? What do they look like, what is their environmental needs? Details like reproduction can be worried about later, you don’t want them reproducing before your ready to deal with them.
Once you have an idea of what these people are where will your story take place? Earth is easy, looking to a new world can be more of a challenge, as you have nothing to fall back on as a guide.
Now you have a planet full of beings, what are they? They need a name besides beings, best to be friendly before they storm your desk and break your computer.
Now that they are named, we need to decide how do their world is organized, do they have a government structure or is it all the law of tooth and claw? While “take what you want by force” sounds like a fun structure, it can grow tiresome to write about. Do they have a ruling council, a king or president? How is this person or group chosen?
Okay now they have chosen a person (or persons) that can handle bringing you their problems, best to decide how advanced you want them, living in mud huts and caves or do they have sky scrapers? Choosing their level of Technology about now would be good.
Good they are all housed and happy, make a storm so they all stay inside and quite begging while you finish figuring what to do with them. Hmm are you their god or are you going to make others for them to blame? Make a religion to keep them occupied, and decide how much of an impact that religion will have on them.
Okay, now we need to decide their economy, they barter, trade or do they have money? Money you need to decide values and what it’s called, a lot of people like to go with the simple “gold, silver, copper” method, it’s a good system and people understand it. But if your really feeling energetic you can make an entirely new method of payment, maybe there’s a more valuable resource than precious metals. The economy needs them to have jobs, this is where your technology choice comes in, no need for a carpenter when they have all steel buildings. What kind of jobs and is there a caste system for these jobs, meaning do they rank and earn a level of importance to society by their job. Now that they have income, what do they do with it? I’m sure there’s clothing and food, what sort of items do they get for fun? Again where your tech level comes in, buying computers or still using stone tablets?
Now that they are out working and spending their money, what else is on this planet? What does it look like? Lots of water, lots of desert and rocks, or is it a temperate rain forest? Perhaps you should sketch a map? Onto other life, even underwater you’ll have plants of some sort, are they all just pleasant to look at or do some have poisons, some might even be vicious and attack. What about animals? They have pets of any kind, beasts of burden, game, predators that hunt them? Also what is the weather like? Is there common storms and such to make life challenging or is it pretty much always calm and peaceful?
They seem to be rather busy among themselves and their little lives, lets look at the bigger picture, you might not be planning to go to space with them, but do they have a single sun? a single moon? They may not seem that important but they can make nice back ground information when your describing their days.
Okay they are all surviving well by this point if you’ve done well, now for a story. It’s best you pick a main character, time to go among your creation and find one, study their lives well. They need a name, a gender too pending their race, their age and where it puts them among their race in experience and life expectancy. What do they do for a living, and what of their family? The stranger from no where may have appeal, but it can make for a bit of a mysterious but hollow background for your writing. Do they have friends? And what’s this little adventure they are going off on?
Now your to where the normal little “story writing” takes up that people get the urge to make everyday. Let them interact and grow and keep an eye on them occasionally to see if they give you any ideas to write about.
Kim Harrison and Carrie Vaughn both write modern novels, with fantasy twists, while Vaughn’s “Kitty Norville” series keep things very modern, Harrison’s “The Hallows” change things. History was changed in her books, and while leaving the monetary issues the same she’s left the exact date, and certain brand names off items to make you wonder if it’s this time or a future time. On the other end of the spectrum is James Silke and Frank Frazetta’s novels of “The Death Dealer”, with it’s ancient earth locations. You can read the book and figure where the people would later migrate to and start civilizations we know. But it draws on enough fantasy and mysticism that old stories were made of to keep it a true fantasy world. Then you come to writers such as John Norman, there may be humans in his story but he took the time to make a new world, complete with society, social structure, religion and the details of plants and animals. That is where good stories and great stories begin to differ.
Lets begin by taking this apart at the basic level, a story needs characters, do you want humans or an alien race as your focus? What do they look like, what is their environmental needs? Details like reproduction can be worried about later, you don’t want them reproducing before your ready to deal with them.
Once you have an idea of what these people are where will your story take place? Earth is easy, looking to a new world can be more of a challenge, as you have nothing to fall back on as a guide.
Now you have a planet full of beings, what are they? They need a name besides beings, best to be friendly before they storm your desk and break your computer.
Now that they are named, we need to decide how do their world is organized, do they have a government structure or is it all the law of tooth and claw? While “take what you want by force” sounds like a fun structure, it can grow tiresome to write about. Do they have a ruling council, a king or president? How is this person or group chosen?
Okay now they have chosen a person (or persons) that can handle bringing you their problems, best to decide how advanced you want them, living in mud huts and caves or do they have sky scrapers? Choosing their level of Technology about now would be good.
Good they are all housed and happy, make a storm so they all stay inside and quite begging while you finish figuring what to do with them. Hmm are you their god or are you going to make others for them to blame? Make a religion to keep them occupied, and decide how much of an impact that religion will have on them.
Okay, now we need to decide their economy, they barter, trade or do they have money? Money you need to decide values and what it’s called, a lot of people like to go with the simple “gold, silver, copper” method, it’s a good system and people understand it. But if your really feeling energetic you can make an entirely new method of payment, maybe there’s a more valuable resource than precious metals. The economy needs them to have jobs, this is where your technology choice comes in, no need for a carpenter when they have all steel buildings. What kind of jobs and is there a caste system for these jobs, meaning do they rank and earn a level of importance to society by their job. Now that they have income, what do they do with it? I’m sure there’s clothing and food, what sort of items do they get for fun? Again where your tech level comes in, buying computers or still using stone tablets?
Now that they are out working and spending their money, what else is on this planet? What does it look like? Lots of water, lots of desert and rocks, or is it a temperate rain forest? Perhaps you should sketch a map? Onto other life, even underwater you’ll have plants of some sort, are they all just pleasant to look at or do some have poisons, some might even be vicious and attack. What about animals? They have pets of any kind, beasts of burden, game, predators that hunt them? Also what is the weather like? Is there common storms and such to make life challenging or is it pretty much always calm and peaceful?
They seem to be rather busy among themselves and their little lives, lets look at the bigger picture, you might not be planning to go to space with them, but do they have a single sun? a single moon? They may not seem that important but they can make nice back ground information when your describing their days.
Okay they are all surviving well by this point if you’ve done well, now for a story. It’s best you pick a main character, time to go among your creation and find one, study their lives well. They need a name, a gender too pending their race, their age and where it puts them among their race in experience and life expectancy. What do they do for a living, and what of their family? The stranger from no where may have appeal, but it can make for a bit of a mysterious but hollow background for your writing. Do they have friends? And what’s this little adventure they are going off on?
Now your to where the normal little “story writing” takes up that people get the urge to make everyday. Let them interact and grow and keep an eye on them occasionally to see if they give you any ideas to write about.
Friday, May 9, 2008
"Cool People"
Here’s a new rant that is bound to piss someone off, but oh well.
Thugs, playas, ballas, gangstas, and people that speak “Street” or Text all people who really need another hole in the head.
Thugs and gangstas are supposed to be people feared on the street for being strong, killers, and the place to go for drugs or whatever the hell it is that is supposed to make them cool. Your supposed to fear and or respect these people for their Skills or peeps, but I can’t help but laugh and feel sorry. First off most of these so called “Thugs” don’t even know where the word comes from and that they are practicing it wrong. It’s a term from India, yes they were murders and thieves but they cunning and tricky, not brain dead and wanting everyone afraid of them, it’s counter productive. Now it’s about being tough, and having a reputation, knock over a liquor store and push some drugs and your name is set. Yeah right excuse me if I don’t see that as a great thing. If you want to make someone fear you on the street EARN IT. Don’t think because you carry a gun your special, don’t think because you can spray an automatic gun out the car window and MAYBE hit one person in specific while taking out 5 bystanders and a collection of windows I’m going to think your anything special. The rapper 50cent (thought he doesn’t have 2 in his head) brags about being shot 9 times and living, I wouldn’t brag about that. It means you pissed someone off that doesn’t know how to use a gun, if anything it means I know where to go to cause trouble because I can shoot and hit my target, I’d have plenty of time to aim before they hit me. If you want people to fear you show them that they are not safe wherever they are, learn to shoot so you can take the person out from a distance, no one sees you or knows you shot until after their friend is dead. Toss the cheap automatic weapons, it’s nice to be able to fire quickly, it’s better to be able to fire accurately.
Ballas, basketball players that have played in the sun too long to be able to say the word basketball, so they shorten it to B-ball. Somewhere along the line being able to throw a ball through a hoop became a symbol of greatness. When you can play consistency of Michel Jordan let me know and I’ll consider you a great player. In the mean time you’re an arrogant pain in the ass that has nothing better to do but play with your balls and the balls of several other guys who like to rub against each other while women watch.
Playas, men who can’t find a woman that suits them so they feel they need to find several that have some of what they want. So have a harem of sluts or “shorties” what the hell does that mean anyway? What’s the appeal of having a book of women you can get at the drop of a hat, isn’t it better to have a few nice trophies instead of a collection of cracker jack prizes.
Then we come to the people that talk “Street” or “Text”, I’m sorry people I worked my ass off to get my diploma, I’m happy I have it, I’m not tossing my ability to think and spell out to save time. Phrases like “Wuzup”, to me sounds like you smoke or drank too much and need to sleep instead of trying to talk cool. Then there’s text. “Hw R U 2day”… Hmm I’m able to read think and learned to use the keyboard well so I could type without having to abbreviate everything. I learned to spell words like that back in grade school, if you can’t spell past that level sell the computer and buy your way back to school.
People complain about the Spanish speaking Americans in the US today, at least I can understand them, not this text and street crap. They were born speaking another language, what’s the excuse of the people raised speaking English, switching to Street or Text and still bitching about people not speaking English?
Thugs, playas, ballas, gangstas, and people that speak “Street” or Text all people who really need another hole in the head.
Thugs and gangstas are supposed to be people feared on the street for being strong, killers, and the place to go for drugs or whatever the hell it is that is supposed to make them cool. Your supposed to fear and or respect these people for their Skills or peeps, but I can’t help but laugh and feel sorry. First off most of these so called “Thugs” don’t even know where the word comes from and that they are practicing it wrong. It’s a term from India, yes they were murders and thieves but they cunning and tricky, not brain dead and wanting everyone afraid of them, it’s counter productive. Now it’s about being tough, and having a reputation, knock over a liquor store and push some drugs and your name is set. Yeah right excuse me if I don’t see that as a great thing. If you want to make someone fear you on the street EARN IT. Don’t think because you carry a gun your special, don’t think because you can spray an automatic gun out the car window and MAYBE hit one person in specific while taking out 5 bystanders and a collection of windows I’m going to think your anything special. The rapper 50cent (thought he doesn’t have 2 in his head) brags about being shot 9 times and living, I wouldn’t brag about that. It means you pissed someone off that doesn’t know how to use a gun, if anything it means I know where to go to cause trouble because I can shoot and hit my target, I’d have plenty of time to aim before they hit me. If you want people to fear you show them that they are not safe wherever they are, learn to shoot so you can take the person out from a distance, no one sees you or knows you shot until after their friend is dead. Toss the cheap automatic weapons, it’s nice to be able to fire quickly, it’s better to be able to fire accurately.
Ballas, basketball players that have played in the sun too long to be able to say the word basketball, so they shorten it to B-ball. Somewhere along the line being able to throw a ball through a hoop became a symbol of greatness. When you can play consistency of Michel Jordan let me know and I’ll consider you a great player. In the mean time you’re an arrogant pain in the ass that has nothing better to do but play with your balls and the balls of several other guys who like to rub against each other while women watch.
Playas, men who can’t find a woman that suits them so they feel they need to find several that have some of what they want. So have a harem of sluts or “shorties” what the hell does that mean anyway? What’s the appeal of having a book of women you can get at the drop of a hat, isn’t it better to have a few nice trophies instead of a collection of cracker jack prizes.
Then we come to the people that talk “Street” or “Text”, I’m sorry people I worked my ass off to get my diploma, I’m happy I have it, I’m not tossing my ability to think and spell out to save time. Phrases like “Wuzup”, to me sounds like you smoke or drank too much and need to sleep instead of trying to talk cool. Then there’s text. “Hw R U 2day”… Hmm I’m able to read think and learned to use the keyboard well so I could type without having to abbreviate everything. I learned to spell words like that back in grade school, if you can’t spell past that level sell the computer and buy your way back to school.
People complain about the Spanish speaking Americans in the US today, at least I can understand them, not this text and street crap. They were born speaking another language, what’s the excuse of the people raised speaking English, switching to Street or Text and still bitching about people not speaking English?
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Domination and submission
Okay here's a pet peeve for you to deal with people, Hollywood's perception of Domination and submission and thus the average person's view of it. I have been a member of the Dom/sub lifestyle for the last 8 years, I know that's shallow in comparison to some of Y/you out there. But for the last 6 years I've done alot of "training" with C/couples and singles teaching how to be a better Dom or sub, in some cases teaching both at once to a C/couple. I've seen P/people that have been experienced in it need help on a few small issues and, new P/people that were so eager to get into it they risked injury or have been injured over it. While I encourage A/all to learn a little of it if not try it while being careful, there are some things you need to learn about before you try.
I'm sure at some point Y/you have tried a bit of a kink, dressed in a collar for fun, an outift or uniform to turn someone on, hell with the laws as they are anything but missonary position can be considered a kink. However with all new things if you want to try you should ask for advice from somoene experienced in the field or else research it and movies are not your best source unless they are made for that reason. While Hollywood can make it look fun or dangerous, you have to remember your watching something made for the purpose of making money, not educating you. Look at those movies of racing and motorcycle stunts, it takes years to be able to do that properly and if you try you can cripple or kill yourself, and despite your thoughts BDS&M can do the same to you.
Simple bondage can be fun and simple for A/any and A/all. But if you do things wrong it's not hard to dislocate joints, and pending what you did choke someone to death. And god forbid if you are drunk and inexperienced, I know O/one experienced couple that the Dom tried something when drunk and the girl had to be hospitalizded over night as she was almost choked to death.
Floggers and whips look so easy and fun on TV, consider this. If you ever heard or seen a real bull whip you will see it sounds Nothing like on TV. A whip is easy to make a nice loud crack, but if you don't use your wrist just right when you make that crack the tails can come back to you. When I first got my bullwhip I had no idea what I was doing and tried the "Indiana Jones" whip crack, there was the satisfying crack alright but the motion of my arm after bringing the tail out infront of me pulled it right back at my face. It cut my cheek open and that was a light swing. Over the years my practice has helped me to the point I can give someone 20 lashes, make them uncomfortable but never leave a mark on thier back, or I can make one sharp crack and cut paper out of your hands. But if you don't know what your doing and bring a whip across someone's back you can leave a bad skin burn, or a deep cut pending your whip, and what's more is with the spine being so exposed you can cause nerve damage.
Y/you can't say that if someone is into Domination/submission they are "not right in the head", true that for a long while the medical experts considered an interest in BDS&M a mental illness or "wrong". But it has come to my attention in the last couple of years a board sat down and reviewed the medical dictionary of mental illnesses, and the interest in BDS&M was removed from that list as it's become so widely popular and socially acceptable. And here's proof you cannot call A/all in the BDS&M community mentally sick and untrustable.
90% of the Doms/subs I know have a military background in one form or another.
I'm sure at some point Y/you have tried a bit of a kink, dressed in a collar for fun, an outift or uniform to turn someone on, hell with the laws as they are anything but missonary position can be considered a kink. However with all new things if you want to try you should ask for advice from somoene experienced in the field or else research it and movies are not your best source unless they are made for that reason. While Hollywood can make it look fun or dangerous, you have to remember your watching something made for the purpose of making money, not educating you. Look at those movies of racing and motorcycle stunts, it takes years to be able to do that properly and if you try you can cripple or kill yourself, and despite your thoughts BDS&M can do the same to you.
Simple bondage can be fun and simple for A/any and A/all. But if you do things wrong it's not hard to dislocate joints, and pending what you did choke someone to death. And god forbid if you are drunk and inexperienced, I know O/one experienced couple that the Dom tried something when drunk and the girl had to be hospitalizded over night as she was almost choked to death.
Floggers and whips look so easy and fun on TV, consider this. If you ever heard or seen a real bull whip you will see it sounds Nothing like on TV. A whip is easy to make a nice loud crack, but if you don't use your wrist just right when you make that crack the tails can come back to you. When I first got my bullwhip I had no idea what I was doing and tried the "Indiana Jones" whip crack, there was the satisfying crack alright but the motion of my arm after bringing the tail out infront of me pulled it right back at my face. It cut my cheek open and that was a light swing. Over the years my practice has helped me to the point I can give someone 20 lashes, make them uncomfortable but never leave a mark on thier back, or I can make one sharp crack and cut paper out of your hands. But if you don't know what your doing and bring a whip across someone's back you can leave a bad skin burn, or a deep cut pending your whip, and what's more is with the spine being so exposed you can cause nerve damage.
Y/you can't say that if someone is into Domination/submission they are "not right in the head", true that for a long while the medical experts considered an interest in BDS&M a mental illness or "wrong". But it has come to my attention in the last couple of years a board sat down and reviewed the medical dictionary of mental illnesses, and the interest in BDS&M was removed from that list as it's become so widely popular and socially acceptable. And here's proof you cannot call A/all in the BDS&M community mentally sick and untrustable.
90% of the Doms/subs I know have a military background in one form or another.
- They have been in the service and enjoyed being controlled in that manner and realize they need the control over thier every day life to feel safe.
- They have been in the service and enjoyed having control over other people and wish to bring that control to thier everyday life.
- They have had a parent in the military and are used to the strict command of a loved one and it will extend to the loved one in thier life that fills the void.
- They have a spouce in the military and hoped to have a bit of strict control over them but find the spouce can't extend the control outside of the service so ask for an outside source and in alot of cases the spouce will accept the outside control with the ability to limit the contact.
So if A/all interested are so sick, twisted and can't be trusted, your screwed when you can't accept the military *laughs*.
Despite this Dom/sub lifestyle is not about being a controling monster over the submissive, yes some people can do that and the image of the domestic abuse family comes to mind. However if things are done properly you are dealing with a deeper level of trust than M/most deal with. Pending on the level of Dom/sub you deal with you can be trusting your Dominate with your life, and i'm sure Y/you have all had a point when the O/other gave you a large ammount of trust on a matter and it's made you feel good inside. Now imagine that feeling daily as you know that you have someone in your life that will nightly or daily if not always just hand thier life into your hands for you to mold as you wish to make you happy. The knolwege of that person being made happy by what you do I'm sure will make you feel happier and better inside as well.
At all times you should have safe works, a simple word that when said the "Scene" stops immediately for safety both mentally and physically, yes poorly done Dom/sub matters can cause extreme mental trauma. If you have been tied up and abbused by someone and it hurt and scared you, I doubt your easilly going to ask someone to tie you up and do it again. Sometimes these mental blocks can be over come, but you need to build the all important trust between the two of Y/you. Y/you two need to sit down and talk things out before the whole things starts and establish a list of guidlines, in time Y/you can revise these guides and include things that Y/you want to try, or have tried and didn't like and want removed. When a Trainer becomes involved A/all three need to sit down and talk this over seriously, for the saftey of the trainer legally a "contract" of sorts should be drawn up and they can even be found online for an idea of how to do one. This contract will be in place for a few reasons, if the Dom/sub becomes unhappy the contract can be renegotiated, and pending how bad the Trainer messes up it can be used as a legal document if god forbid it goes to court for damages.
Well the Dom/sub thing is all about sex, wrong, while several do incorporate it into sex, it can be worked into your everyday life. Have you ever had doubt over an issue or a want to have someone approve and guide you on a topic or tough decision, that's a minor form of submission. A C/couple I worked with for 6 years has had this issue, I worked with them online for the longest time and finally they paid me to go live with them for 2 1/2 months to train the wife. I spent 2 1/2 months there while he was away and never once did I have sex with her, I taught her the forms of submission that were pleasing, erotic, and subtle that could be done in public. The whole purpose of Dom/sub lifestyle is the trust and enjoyment of it for both, she likes her clothes chosen for her to excite or entertain Him. How many men out there like thier women dressing up sexy to watch men drool over her at the bar or at the mall? Simple small things to show love and trust for you such as wearing a symbolic necklace between the two of you knowing that she wears it to show she is His, in mind body and soul. Doing chores around the house knowing He likes the house clean and he's happy with a clean house, making him meals knowing he likes it when she does home cooking. Small Non-Sexual issues that make him enjoy the marriage and being with her, things that make her feel good knowing it's making him happy and proud.
People into BDS&M are into pain and blood sport. Okay that has Some truth into it, Sadism itself means you get pleasure from huting people, masochism means you love being hurt. I myself hate hurting people, don't get me wrong a sub crosses me they will not be happy it happened, but I'm not going to just grab a whip and go after them because I want a laugh. Now I have delt with a few "pain slaves" that the whippings and rough treatment turns them on and can increase thier sexual arrousal and pleasure, however 90% of them you will find don't like being hurt to the point of bleeding and set limits. Despite being a submissive they are a person and have rights.
This is a sensitive topic to Me and O/others I know. If Y/you see something you question or have more rumors and myths you are unsure of feel free to ask. Want help with Y/your own curiosity with the issue, feel free to ask and I'll try and help or find someone that can.
Welcome
Welcome to my soon to be site of random and not always healthy thoughs. I doubt your going to find political discussions on here and not many religious discussions, but there's a good chance I'm going to say something to piss you off at some point. Oh well your probably Human so get over it *LOL*. Oh well leave your comments anyway and we can see about a good discussion on the topics.
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